OPEN WHEN · LONG DISTANCE

Open when long distance letters: what to write and when to seal them

Open when long distance letters give the person far away something to open on the hard evenings. Each one is sealed for a single moment and read only when that moment comes. Here is what to put in them, ideas for every kind of long distance relationship, and six examples.

Start a long distance letter

Open when you miss meWrite →Open when the call ends too soonWrite →Open when the time difference gets to youWrite →Open when you are awake and I am asleepWrite →Open when we argue over textWrite →Open when you are counting the daysWrite →Open when you are homesickWrite →

Each one opens a blank letter with the moment already on the envelope. No account needed.

An example to start from

To Marcus, for after a Sunday call

Marcus, you just hung up and I can hear the fridge and nothing else. I know that feeling. I get it every Sunday too.

Here is what I do. I wash the one mug and put it back where it lives. Then I remind myself that Thursday is already on the calendar, 8 your time, 2 mine.

You did your boss's voice tonight and I laughed so hard I scared the cat. Keep that for the rest of your evening.

Forty-one days left. I counted twice.

Dani

AN EXAMPLE TO BORROW FROM
MAKE IT YOURS

How your letter stays yours

Private by default. Only the person you address can open it.

Delete any time: before it's opened, after, or everything.

Nothing is public unless you ask, and a person reads it first.

How privacy works

A pile of airmail envelopes with red and blue borders and stamps — Photo: Ann H on Pexels

Why open when letters suit long distance

Long distance is mostly waiting: for the call, for the visit, for the time zones to line up. An open when letter fits, because you write it ahead and the other person opens it later, at a moment you could not plan.

You seal it for one feeling or one situation, like a lonely night or a canceled flight. They decide when that moment has come. Every Open When letter also has a date you choose, and it stays locked until then.

EXAMPLE LETTERS

Letters to borrow from

We wrote these to show what a letter like this can sound like. Borrow a line, then make it yours: the small, true details are what make it land.

To Tasha, three weeks into the new city

Tash, it has been three weeks and I still reach for my phone to tell you things. Today a man on the bus ate soup out of a thermos and I thought, she has to see this.

You said the new apartment echoes and nobody knows your coffee order. Okay. It took me a year to get the guy at the bakery to remember mine.

Keep texting me the dumb stuff. I want the dumb stuff most.

Your plant is alive, by the way. I am taking full credit.

AN EXAMPLE TO BORROW FROM
MAKE IT YOURS

To Kofi, open when you are homesick in Madrid

Kofi, if you are reading this, you are homesick and too proud to say so on the phone.

Mom is cooking enough jollof for twelve and freezing it in case you come home. I told her it will not ship. She does not care.

You always left the lights on in every room. I do it now, on purpose, and think of you.

Eat something hot. Call Dad on Sunday. He pretends he is not waiting by the phone.

Abena

AN EXAMPLE TO BORROW FROM
MAKE IT YOURS

To Jess, for a night the dorm feels too far

Jess, you sent me a thumbs up tonight, and I know that is not the whole story.

I do not need the whole story. Your room is exactly how you left it, down to the sock behind the door. Your mother has vacuumed around it twice.

You do not have to love it there by Friday. Some people take until spring.

Call when you want. Do not call when you do not. I will be fine either way, which is a small lie, but a loving one.

Dad

AN EXAMPLE TO BORROW FROM
MAKE IT YOURS

To Mom, open when you wonder if I am okay

Mom, I can picture you checking your phone for the third time, so I wrote this ahead.

I am okay. I ate a real dinner. I have a friend named Ines who borrows my charger and gives it back, which tells you everything.

I fold laundry the minute it is dry now. I hear you say it in your voice every time.

The worst part is opening the dorm door and nobody asking how my day was. I leave that out on the phone because you would worry.

Go to bed. I will text in the morning.

Nia

AN EXAMPLE TO BORROW FROM
MAKE IT YOURS

To Wei, for when text gets short and sharp

Wei, we are being short with each other and I know why. We are tired, and a screen makes everything sound colder than it is.

So here it is in one place. I am not angry at you. I am angry at the nine hours between us, and you are the one who happens to be on the screen.

Do not fix it tonight. Sleep. Tomorrow, start the call with how your day went and I will start with mine.

I am on your side. That did not change when we hung up.

Valeria

AN EXAMPLE TO BORROW FROM
MAKE IT YOURS

What to write in an open when long distance letter

Name the moment first, then talk to the person inside it. You will not be there to ask how they are, so say what they are probably feeling.

Pick one small, real detail: the mug, the song, the joke only you two get.
Say what your day looks like too, so the distance feels shared.
Give them one thing to do: eat, call someone, go to sleep.
Finish with the next time you will talk or see each other, if you know it.

Short beats long. Four small paragraphs read better at midnight than two pages.

Open when letters for long distance relationships: ideas

Seal a few instead of one, each for a different moment. Some to start with:

Open when you miss me (there is a page for that one)
Open when the call ends too soon
Open when the time difference gets to you
Open when you are awake and I am asleep
Open when we argue over text
Open when you are counting the days
Open when you doubt us
Open when you can't sleep (see the can't sleep letters)
Open when you need to laugh
Open when you are on your way to see me

Partners can borrow more from the boyfriend and girlfriend lists.

Long distance open when letters beyond couples

A best friend who moved, a sister overseas, a kid at college, a parent a plane ride away: the same idea works, and only the moment changes. For a parent it might be Open when you wonder if I am eating. For a friend, Open when the new city feels wrong.

The Open When examples page has more moments for every kind of relationship.

Sending it across the distance

Writing and reading on Open When are free, and neither needs an account. You choose how the letter travels. Your person can get an email saying a sealed letter is waiting (the email never contains the words). Or you can give them a private link or a QR code yourself, or keep the letter for now and hand it over on your next visit.

Pick a wax seal color and a handwriting style, and add one song as a link if you want. You can unseal and edit it any time before it is opened, and ask to be told when it is.

IF YOU ARE STUCK

Questions that help you start

What does your person do on the worst night of the week, and what would help?
What is the smallest thing you miss about being in the same room?
What is a joke only the two of you would get?
What did you notice about them the last time you were together?
What do you wish you could say at the end of a call but never do?
What is the first thing you want to do when you are in the same place again?
What time is it for them right now, and what are they probably doing?
What would you say if they opened this in the middle of a bad day?

Open When never writes your letter for you. These are only here to get the first line down.

QUESTIONS

Questions people ask

How many open when letters should I write for a long distance relationship?

There is no right number. Five is a good start: miss me, a bad day, can't sleep, a fight over text and counting the days. Write the ones for the hardest moments first, since those are the nights a letter earns its place. Add more later, one at a time.

What should I write in an open when letter for my long distance boyfriend or girlfriend?

Write to the person in that moment. Say what you think they feel, add one detail only you two would know, and tell them one thing to do next. Keep it kind rather than clever. If you want more ideas, the boyfriend and girlfriend pages list moments for each.

How do I get an open when letter to someone in another country?

Open When letters travel by email, by a private link or QR code that you give them yourself, or you can keep the letter for now. The email only says a sealed letter is waiting and never contains your words. Nobody needs an account to read one.

Is it okay to make a long distance open when letter funny?

Yes. Humor is often what a long distance relationship runs on. A letter for a bad day can start with a joke and get serious in the last two lines. Keep the joke about the situation, not the person, and end on something warm.

How does my person know when to open it?

The envelope names the moment, such as Open when you miss me, and they decide when it has arrived. It cannot be opened before the date you chose. Until it is opened, you can unseal it and change the words, or delete it.

KEEP READING

More letters like this

Open when ideas: moments to seal a letter for, and what to writeRead →Open when letters already written, ready to read and adaptRead →Open when you miss me: a letter for the days you are apartRead →Open when you can't sleep letter: what to write for the long nightsRead →Open when letters for your girlfriend: moments, ideas and examplesRead →