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LETTERS TO · YOUR SON

A letter to my son: examples from a dad or a mom

A letter to my son does not have to be long, polished or full of advice. It has to be yours. Below are examples from a dad, a mom and both, short messages to my son, and how to seal a letter for his 18th birthday or the day he leaves home.

Write to your son now

Open when you turn 18Write →A birthday letter for himWrite →Open when you leave homeWrite →A graduation letter for himWrite →Open when you feel like you let someone downWrite →A wedding day letter for himWrite →Open when you become a dadWrite →Open when you need to hear it from meWrite →

Each one opens a blank letter with the moment already on the envelope. No account needed.

An example to start from

To Mateo, on your fifth birthday

Mateo, you are five. You told the whole grocery store you are five. They clapped, which you expected.

This year you learned to whistle (badly), to spell your name and to keep a secret for almost an hour. You are fearless about everything except the vacuum cleaner.

When you read this, I hope you still tell strangers good news. The world could use that.

I love your loud boots. I love the quiet ones too, the ones you wear when you are thinking. Happy birthday.

Mom
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How your letter stays yours
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A father and his young son fishing together by a lake
Photo: Vitaly Gariev on Pexels

How to write a letter to your son

A lecture is easy to skip. A story is not. Start with something you noticed, a scene from when he was small, or something he did that nobody saw.

  • Begin with a scene, not a lesson.
  • Say plainly that you are proud, and name what for.
  • Tell him one thing you got wrong at his age. It will land harder than ten pieces of advice.
  • Say you love him in your own words. If the words feel strange on paper, write them anyway.
  • Close with a way back: the door is open, the call is welcome.

The prompts below help you start. The words are yours, and Open When never writes them for you.

EXAMPLE LETTERS

Letters to borrow from

We wrote these to show what a letter like this can sound like. Borrow a line, then make it yours: the small, true details are what make it land.

To Jamal, for your first day of high school

Jamal, you walked into that school this morning like you owned it. I was going to get out of the car and wave. I did not. I stayed in the car. The wave counted.

You do not have to be cool. Nobody is, at fourteen. They are just good at acting. Find the person who laughs at the same things you do and keep them.

I am right here. Same car. Same bad radio.

Dad
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To Arjun, to open on your 18th birthday

Arjun, you are eighteen today, and we want to say something we never manage in the car: we like you. Not only love, though that too. We like you. You are funny and honest, and you are kind to the kid nobody sits with.

You will make mistakes this year. Make the ones that teach you something. Call us from all of them.

Keep your passport current. Learn to cook one real meal. Do not text and drive. And yes, we are still your parents.

Mom and Dad
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To Tomasz, on the day you graduate

Tomasz, I did not think I would feel this much.

You worked nights at the warehouse and still got the grades, and you never once asked me for money. I was too busy being proud to fix your car, so I will do that this weekend instead.

Take the long way home today. Roll the windows down. You earned a day where nothing is due.

I am so proud of you that it is a little embarrassing. I am going to cry in the parking lot.

Dad
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To Kwame, the night before you leave home

Kwame, your suitcase has been packed for two days and unpacked once, because you remembered something. This is what leaving home is.

I will not say a long thing. Eat vegetables. Call your aunt on Sundays. Make a friend in the first week, even if it is the person next to you in the laundry room.

When you feel small in that new place, remember you were the baby who refused to be put down and the boy who talked back to the pastor. You will manage.

Home is not going anywhere. The light stays on.

Mom
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To Ethan, when you feel like you let everyone down

Ethan, I heard about the exam. You did not tell me. Your mother did, and then she told me not to bring it up, so I am writing it instead.

I have failed things. I once got fired for being late three times in one week, and I still think the boss was wrong. What I remember is who showed up after: my brother, with a sandwich and no questions.

Be that for yourself tonight. You did not let anyone down. You have a bad grade and a decent father.

Come to dinner when you are ready.

Dad
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To Haruto, to open on your wedding day

Haruto, I am wearing the dress you said was too loud. It is staying.

I remember the first day of school you wore your shoes on the wrong feet and refused to switch because you had made your choice. That boy is now choosing a person for life, and I have never seen him so sure.

Be gentle with her. Let her see you cry when you need to. You come from a long line of people who hid it, and you do not have to.

I love you. Now go, you are late.

Mom
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To Liam, for no reason at all

Liam, I walked past the dent in the garage door today and thought of you. You were eleven and sure the ball would curve.

It did not. I never fixed the dent. I like it.

I just wanted to say you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Keep trying to curve it, even when it is not supposed to go. That is all. Go play.

Dad
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To Omar, to open when you become a dad

Omar, if you are reading this, you are holding a very small person and have not slept, and I am sorry and also a little jealous.

Here is what I wish someone had told me. Nobody knows what they are doing. Everybody holds the baby wrong at first. You will learn by doing it badly, many times, and loving them through it.

Call me, even at 4 a.m. I will be awake. I will not give advice unless you ask. I will probably give it anyway.

I am proud to be your father, and soon you will know why.

Dad
AN EXAMPLE TO BORROW FROM
MAKE IT YOURS
SHORT MESSAGES

Short messages you can use

  1. I am proud of you. I do not say it enough, so I am saying it now.
  2. Happy birthday, kid. You are taller than me and I have not forgiven you.
  3. You do not have to be tough with me. You can just be tired.
  4. Whatever happens today, you are still my favorite person to hang around.
  5. Good luck. Breathe, eat breakfast, and remember you have done harder things than this.
  6. I still hear you laughing in the back seat. Come home and do it in person.
  7. Be kind to the kid who sits alone. You will never know how much that matters.
  8. You made a mistake. So did I at your age, and I did not learn half as fast as you will.
  9. My son, I wish you good friends, honest work and a bed to come home to.
  10. Text me when you get there. Two words is plenty.
  11. I love you when you win, when you lose and when you leave your socks in the hall.
  12. You are not a burden. You never have been. Bring me the big stuff and the small stuff.
  13. When you have a bad day, remember: the best men I know have cried in a car at least once.
  14. Dear son, it has been a privilege to watch you become who you are. I am glad I get to know him.
  15. You can ask me anything, even the thing you think will upset me. Especially that one.
  16. I am sorry for the times I yelled. You deserved a calmer dad.
  17. Your first word was truck. I think about that every time I see one.
  18. On your wedding day: she is lucky, and so are we. Do not forget to eat at the reception.
  19. Take the first step even if you do not feel ready. Nobody ever does, and I am right behind you.
  20. You are enough, with or without the trophy.
  21. Hey. Nothing is wrong. I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.
  22. Remember who you are when nobody is watching. I have seen him, and he is great.
  23. Congratulations on the baby. I am about to become an extremely annoying grandfather.
  24. Call when you have ten minutes. I will talk about the weather if you want. I just like hearing you.

A letter from dad, a letter from mom

A letter to my son from a dad can be short and plain, and that is its whole charm. One true thing said once can mean more than an hour of talk. A letter from a mom can hold the memory and the late-night worry, the things that do not fit in a text. A letter from both can tease a little and be proud a lot.

If you are stuck, borrow an opener:

  • I never told you this, but
  • The day you were born I
  • What I noticed about you this year is
  • I want you to know it is okay to
  • When you read this, I hope you are

Letters to my son at every stage

  • Little. Write what he says and does now: the odd words, the boots, the question he asks every night. He will read it and meet himself.
  • Starting high school. Short and light. Say you are around, and leave it there.
  • Teenage years. Skip the verdict. Write about something you enjoy about him.
  • Leaving home. Say what you are proud of and what you will miss. Put one practical line in, like a phone number he already knows.
  • Grown up. Tell him what you see in him now, and what you hope he keeps.

A message to my son, for when you only have a minute

Not every moment needs a page. The messages below fit a text, a card, a note in a lunch or the bottom of a care package. Swap a word or two so they sound like you. A short message in your own words does more than a long one that is not.

Seal a letter for him to open later

You can write to your son today and let him open it when the moment arrives. On Open When, seal it for a moment such as Open when you turn 18, Open when you leave home or Open when you feel like you let someone down. It stays locked until the date you pick, and from that day he opens it when he is ready.

For his birthday, graduation or wedding, you can seal a letter for the day itself: his email arrives that morning, or you print a QR code to tuck into a card or gift. If you are not sure which email he will have later, keep the letter for now and give him the private link yourself.

It is free, with no account needed to write or read. Download your own copy, and unseal or edit a letter any time before it is opened. For a letter to someone else, try a letter to your daughter or letters to your children.

IF YOU ARE STUCK

Questions that help you start

  • What did he do this year that nobody else saw?
  • What was he afraid of when he was small, and is he still?
  • What did you get wrong at his age that you wish you had known?
  • What do you want him to remember about the car, the garage or the kitchen table?
  • What is something he does that makes you laugh every time?
  • What do you want him to know he does not have to earn?
  • What have you been meaning to say and keep not saying?
  • Is there something you need to apologize for?
  • What do you hope he does the first night he feels homesick?
  • What would you want to hear from your own father or mother today?

Open When never writes your letter for you. These are only here to get the first line down.

QUESTIONS

Questions people ask

What should I write in a letter to my son?
Start with something you actually noticed about him: a habit, a joke, a time he surprised you. Say what you are proud of, add one wish, and tell him one thing you got wrong at his age. Close by telling him he can come to you. Skip the long advice. A plain, specific page beats a polished speech.
How do I write a letter to my son who is leaving home?
Be honest that you are proud and that you will miss him, then keep one practical line, like a phone number or a favorite recipe. Do not load him with rules. Tell him home is still home, and that calling when it is hard is not failing. Hand it over the night before, or seal it for the first week away.
Can a mom write a letter to her son?
Of course. A mom can hold the memories, the worry and the small details nobody else kept, like what he wore on his first day or what he said when he lost a tooth. Tell him what you see in him now, and that he does not have to be tough with you.
What can I put in a letter to my son for his 18th birthday?
A memory from when he was small, what you see in him now, one wish and one practical thing, like keeping his passport current. Add a line saying he can always call. If you write it years ahead, seal it for the day and mention what is happening in his life as you write.
How can I send my son a letter for a moment years from now?
On Open When, seal it for a moment such as Open when you turn 18 and set it to unlock on his 18th birthday. It can reach him by email, or by a private link or QR code you give him. For something far off, download your own copy as well and keep it somewhere safe.
KEEP READING

More letters like this

A letter to my daughter: examples from a mom or a dadRead →A time capsule letter to your child, to open at 10, 13, 16 or 18Read →How to write a happy birthday letter, with examplesRead →Graduation card messages, and a letter to open laterRead →Open when ideas: moments to seal a letter for, and what to writeRead →
Say it now, and let him open it when he is ready.
Write to my son